


and i don't know how i would even start

by ofthesun



Series: beating my literary meat [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Internal Monologue, No Dialogue, Pining (can be read as)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 13:44:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10855185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofthesun/pseuds/ofthesun
Summary: Evan thinks about Connor sometimes.





	and i don't know how i would even start

**Author's Note:**

> ya fave nerdy ass hoe is beating their literary meat in CLASS today with this attempt at a circumlocution ficlet. its kinda bad bc i thought circumlocution was just long ass sentences but after i wrote this i found out its supposed to be intensely indirect. whatevs! someone needs to euthanise my internet access, i have an exam on thursday and i should be studying. pre-canon, connor isn't dead yet.

Evan sees Connor in the hallway at school sometimes. Connor is cold and caliginous, violence radiating from the perimeters of his footsteps, anger bubbling around him in a shield that keeps the whole school away. He defines what it means to be isolated, whether he intends it or not, everyone subconsciously extending the distance between him and them as they wander through the hallway. Connor is a fire cracker and everyone else got the message to run as far as they can as to avoid getting burned.

Evan, however, stares at the back of Connor's head in physics. He stays rapt in the way the unwashed curls tumble down over his shoulders like the idyllic miracle of a waterfall pouring out from a flood, and how Connor doesn't move much; never turning to talk to everyone sitting around him, never looking up at the instructor. Evan thinks that maybe, maybe if he could talk to Connor, he wouldn't be so isolated. The shield would dissolve, and he wouldn't stay so still and quiet. People would talk to him, could bear to be near him, and anger wouldn't echo out when his footsteps slammed the ground.

But maybe, maybe nothing would be different at all.

And Evan never talks to Connor.


End file.
